i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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