Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
