remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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