nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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