New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
