Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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