Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
