My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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