I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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