i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You work out of a Hotel?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
