I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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