but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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