bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
