He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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