it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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