dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
