You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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