Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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