so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
