Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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