So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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