i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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