look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
cat food counts as protein by the way
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
