Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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