I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
