FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
