Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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