I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Enjoy the penises
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
