just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
