So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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