i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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