You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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