I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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