I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize