That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
