youre lurking in front of me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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