Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
