if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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