im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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