Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
