yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Say something about gay babies.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i think im in europe. pls send help
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
