Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
vagina is talking i cant
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
