I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
