So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
