is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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