a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
im holly from the hills drunk
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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