wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
