I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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