you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
