drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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