I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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